It's not about the food choice (that I gave up caring about a long time ago), it's about the rigidity of his choice. Actually, there was no choice because there was only bagels. A bagel every. single. day.
Yes, yes, I was a kid once too and ONLY ate peanut butter on white bread every. single. day.
They were easy for me to make and a comfort food, and there was no way I was buying hot lunch. However, it was always a choice and it was never a rule; my drink would change, my snacks would change, and I'm willing to bet that there were days that I wasn't eating a peanut butter sandwich, I just don't remember.
There has been no choice for Evan; it has been his rule. There have been no negotiations. Before we moved towns, his team had been working on expanding his lunch repertoire, with some success, but when we moved that fell to the back burner and it was not a priority for me. And, so, he ate his bagel every. single. day.
What changed this week? Well, last month the school started talking about nutrition and food choices in his social skills group and in his counseling session (always in a non-pressure way, encouraging but not insisting) and clearly we are seeing the fruits of that labor; boy, doesn't that feel good. Progress where there had been none for so long.
It's been awhile since I've blogged, so you may be wondering how everything else is going? My answer is...drum roll please...well. Evan, generally, is doing very well. We've had a few hiccups here and there - some playground issues, some classroom issues - but his school team has been very responsive and open to my feedback and suggestions, and he seems to be enjoying himself.
He remains behind grade level, though his report card doesn't reflect that; you must specifically ask questions like that, or you won't be told (unless you happen to know what reading level K means, and I only know his reading level because it is a benchmark on his IEP). He got a 3 (out of 4) in all of his specialist classes, even though he hasn't been to music for SIX WEEKS; apparently you don't need to be present in class to meet academic standards in music. Clearly we take his report card with a grain of salt.
Evan currently attends OT once per week, swimming once per week, and new this fall is a social skills group (I pull him early from school, and this is why he misses music class; his music teacher has an accent that Evan can't understand, so no one has had a problem with this arrangement except for Evan, who enjoyed being able to completely escape into his own brain during the
We've had some trouble with Evan withholding urine, a problem that we haven't seen since preschool. This started the day before Thanksgiving, after two days of him not feeling well...
* random thought: Evan made it TWO MONTHS into the school year without being sick - a huge milestone for him!
...and I wasn't sure if it was a sensory thing or not (sometimes bladder pressure can be soothing for kids with sensory disorders). On the Saturday after Thanksgiving we went out to breakfast and I asked Evan to pee before we left; he told me he didn't have to go and said he could go at the restaurant. Imagine my horror when, at 4:15 that afternoon he told me that I forgot to remind him to go pee and he was going for the FIRST time that day!! Ugh. Jayme and I have concluded that it is more a constipation issue than a sensory issue, and I am still having to remind him to pee; it's 5:40 pm as I am writing this and I just asked him if he had peed recently; he just went for the second time today right now. Sigh...work in progress...
Currently our other home priority is trying to wean Evan from his extreme TV addiction. It seems like an easy problem to have, but we are having a very hard time engaging him in other activities; this will be another work in progress, as he prefers social isolation to most anything else. Admittedly, I've gotten a bit lazy in engaging him (one can only take so much rejection), and I've got to step-up my effort.
We are feeling very blessed with where we are in life right now, since last year was such a struggle. This will pass, and we'll struggle again, but with every day that he grows and gains more skills we are one day closer to helping him realize his life dreams, which so far this school year have included being a husband, a professional soccer player, a SWAT team member, a mechanic, and a miner.
Never discourage anyone
who continues to make progress,
no matter how slow.